Running Through the Ups and Downs

In the last couple weeks I stumbled upon a certain realization.  About running, maybe even about life. Whether you are a runner or not, take heart, because you might see some parallels in your own world.

There are days when I feel invincible. The miles, the hours, the hills I put in week after week, make me feel strong. They build me up, encourage me to push the envelope a little further. They give me the confidence to reach a little higher.

And there are days when I feel beaten down. The miles, the hours and hills, they cut right through my strength, they make me feel weak. They break me down, entice me to give up. They take away my passion to persevere through the challenges I face.

It’s not like this is a big epiphany. Maybe the opposite, kind of an unwritten rule that we store in the backs of our minds and don’t pay attention to. A rule that says don’t get too comfortable when you feel you’re on top of the world, because it won’t be long until you will feel the world on your shoulders.

I suppose it’s as simple as the yin and yang. Opposing states, like any contrary forces in the natural world, are not only interdependent, they need each other to exist. Hot and cold, fire and water, female and male. Strong and weak. Can I feel strong if I have not felt weak? Can I be strong if I am never weak?

Training is a big part of being a runner. At its core training breaks you down, then it builds you back up, stronger than before. Week after week, month after month. The cycle continues. Some people naturally wonder, why submit yourself to such a rigor? Isn’t there more to life? Sometimes I ask myself that question, usually when I feel broken down.

In writing this I’m reminded of a lecture Master Kan gave his young disciple in the television series Kung Fu. Addressing the young student, the master explains the purpose of the hardship the student must endure to be a Shaolin priest.

Master Kan:

"You must prepare yourself for what lies ahead

in your chosen role as priest.

The nature of wind, and fire, and ice.

The frailty of the human condition in hunger, and thirst and fatigue.

The predatory instincts of living things.

The greed and vanity buried in the hearts of men.

You must be prepared to survive through all of this.

These graceful movements you now perform,

along with all the rigors and disciplines your masters impose upon you,

will help you develop the inner strength, that which we call Chi.

And when you come to meet your greatest test, your highest challenges,

when you call upon your chi, it will not desert you."

The more I learn, the more I’ve come to realize that running through the ups and downs is, in itself, the ultimate test of endurance, the real challenge that stands between me and inner strength.

On Hand and Hokas

Yesterday I wandered into the koa-uluhe forest on the island of Oahu, Hawaii, via the Willwillnue trail. I’ve been looking forward to exploring some of the densely covered trails of Oahu, home of the Hawaii H.U.R.T. 100. This day I got my wish.


I didn't know what to expect, but I should have. Like the run-in with a wild boar. Have you ever sauntered into one of these things on a training run? I did. I should have known. Because posted on the very same web-site with the directions to the trail was this: "Wild hogs can be very aggressive, so it's always important to have the appropriate protective gear on and to carry an emergency first aid kit." Protective gear? Emergency first aid kit? How about a pair of Hokas and a Camelback?

When I saw the beast it was about 100 feet from me. I instinctively looked for an escape route. It must have noticed my reaction, because the beast started towards me.  Call it instinct again, this time I stepped toward it and let loose a gutter-like growl in its direction. It turned and fled like a stray coyote. My heart rate? Elevated!

I then moved along in the dim light under the lush canopy. It was still dusk and very dark in this tropical forest. Holding a rock in each hand, I hiked up the fire road looking for a mountain top. At various points power lines drooped over my head. I passed under them and the wind began to move swiftly. So swiftly it began to create a loud, angry hum, as if I wasn't supposed to be there. I quickly marched further up the trail anxious for the sound to diminish behind me.

I emerged from under the forest canopy and onto a narrow ridge. The path was so narrow and high above that canyons below that the trail looked to be suspended in the air.  I stopped several times to look around. I peered over the edge to get a glimpse of the valleys below. As I leaned over I could feel my heart jump. Over a thousand feet was all that separated me from the lush valley floors. I continued and the higher I went the steeper the narrow path became. I grasped fixed ropes that were fastened above. At one point I was on all fours, climbing on hands and hokas, making my way up to an invisible summit.  

Then, just like that, I stood in the clouds and listened to the wind blow. 

Sometimes I wonder why I run. Then, like this day, I am reminded again.  

When Things Happen for a Reason

Just the other day I was reviewing my miles and training hours over the last several weeks. Things have been going very well, so well I think was feeling my oats a little too much too early in the season. I know this because I had to wobble home Monday night after a run from a sore groin. It flared up minutes after doing 10 x 100 yard surges and a few days after doing several mile repeats at threshold pace. I felt great during these runs and simply let loose a little too much. How do I know? Not only did I strain my groin, but I woke up Tuesday morning with a head cold. In the time its taken me to write this, I’ve blown through a half dozen tissues. 


Due to my sore groin and head cold I haven’t run in the last two days. But this is a good thing, because my body needs rest too, and it talks to me when it needs to. It tells me things happen for a reason. 

What does your body tell you?

Wasatch Front 100 or UTMB in France?

Wasatch course (photo Matt Galland)

Now its decision time. Do I run UTMB August 31 in Europe, or Wasatch Front 100 miler in Utah the first weekend in September? I just got accepted to run Wasatch. So now I'm in a predicament. Run UTMB, one of the hardest races in Europe if not the world with 31,000 feet of climbing, or Wasatch with a mere 26,882 feet of climbing but a much higher elevation? Why not run both? Keep an open mind, right? I would only have to run 203 miles and climb over 57,000 feet in one week. Why not just throw in another race the week after just for grins. Yea, right!

I'm not sure what to do, but I am sure I'll have to pick one or the other. I'm leaning towards Wasatch. UTMB sounds like an amazing event, but it also brings some serious logistics with travel and family. My kids will already be in school so that might mean I have to go solo. Wasatch is an hour flight from where I live. I've wanted to do this race since I started running ultras four years ago. Decisions, decisions!

What would you do?      

So Cal Ultra Series Award Picnic

Age Group And Overall Winners

This weekend I celebrated with many of my fellow ultra runners at the So Cal Ultra Grand Prix Awards picnic. What a great event! A culmination of a long season and a kick in my ass to get back in the saddle for 2012.

Gary Hilliard, the grand master of ceremonies, put out an awesome feast replete with tacos, refried beans, cookies apple pie and an ultra cake with its very own trail on the frosting. Before the ceremony we did  little morning run...12 miles up some 3,500 feet to Mt. Wilson. Nothing like a little run up 3,500 feet to get the appetite going. Probably best I didn’t eat this stuff before the run...

Receiving My Award From Gary H

It was good to see so many other runners I’ve shared the trail with this last year, and to meet many of them for the first time. Jack “attack” Cheng took home the Male Overall Mileage Award with 456 miles. Jack is an ultra machine and told me that he was already gearing up to run four hundred mile races to kick-off the new year. Yen Darcy took home the women’s Overall Mileage Award with 409.2 miles. I had a chance to chat with both Jack and Yen at the event. They are the real deal – true ultra runners with a commitment to their sport. They ran 19 races in 2011 between the two of them!

My bro Al and Age Group Winner Audry W

Diana Treister won the women’s overall title for the second year in a row. That is commitment. I won the men’s overall title. And to that, all I can say is YEAAAAA! I won’t deny it. It was a lot of work. But I enjoyed every mile. Well, maybe not every mile. There were some dark moments, sure, but I think they made the lighter moments shine a little brighter. Hanging out at the awards picnic with so many cool people that share a similar passion for running was a bright moment for me.

Hal W's 30 Year Buckle - Avalon 50 Mile

Congratulations to my friends Larry and Cherri Rich who both took home age group awards. They are the only father and mother ultra running duo that I know who run 100 milers together while raising three kids! And many, many thanks to the director of the grand prix Gary Hilliard and his crew Fred Pollard and Joe Magruder. These guys put in a lot of time to keep this southern California tradition alive and kicking. 

Holy Merde. Ultra Trail Mont Blanc - I'm In!

photo UTMB website

Its official. After stumbling upon the application deadline for Ultra Trail Mont Blanc (UTMB) just two weeks ago, I submitted my application with only hours to spare. What the hell, I thought, it’s a lottery and I probably wont get in anyway. Like a traveler passing through Vegas and looking to get rid of loose change, I dumped all my coins in the UTMB slot machine and pulled the handle. Oh, my. Jackpot!

What I didn’t do before I submitted my application to UTMB was learn about UTMB. There was no time. No time to read the race description. No time to learn about the elevation gain and loss. No time to understand the type of course it is. No time to run and hide like a little boy on his first day of school.

No big deal. Now I have seven months to read up on UTMB. Well, I’ve started reading. And reading. And reading. Now I think I’m reading a Steven King novel. Every page seems to unfold with a subtle nuance that leads to someone getting bludgeoned. No heroes, only victims - strewn across a landscape of misery and self doubt. I’m not sure if I’m going to wet my pants or the bed.

But like any good novel, you never know what is going to happen...

Nine and a Half Ways To Keep Running Real (published in Ultra Running Magazine March 2012)

1. Find new routes everyday. I mean everyday. Take them.

2. Cycle your training. Plan your peaks and valleys. From month to month, week to week, and day to day. There’s a time to push, and a time to pull back.

3. Don’t forget your posse. Run with them regularly. Swap stories. Talk about running. Talk about life. They keep you grounded. They remind you why you run.

4. Lay low every once in a while. I’m not talking about for a couple of days. Or even for a couple of weeks. I’m talking about for a couple of months. Find something else to do.

5. Commit. To a goal. To an event. Any event. Preferably one that inspires you. If you can’t, rest easy. It’s not the end of the world. If you can, smile, and enjoy the ride.

6. Tune in. To music. To audio books. To talk radio. Whatever entices you while you run. Stream music (vs download) and listen to anything, anytime, and be surprised.

7. Tune out. Don’t think, just do. Let your mind drift while you run. Like a tumbleweed in a warm desert wind.

8. Wander. Leave home with no particular place to go. No routine. No plan. Just run.

9. Stop regularly on a run. Look around. You will be amazed at the little things that look back at you.

9.5. Always remember this: Running is not a job. It’s not a duty.  It’s not an obligation. It is your life, at that moment. Keep it real. Embrace it.

I Love This Sport

Photo by Devon C

Running is difficult to describe. Ultra running is even harder. More so to non-runners. What usually comes from this conversation is a vague avoidance of what really matters to the ultra runner. The I-know-its-rediculous-what-I-do-but-I-do-it-anyway-and-don’t-bother-trying-to-understand-because-you-won’t-get-over-the-idea-that-people-actually-gain-a-really-deep-appreciation-for-making-it-100-miles-on-their-own-two-feet-through-mountain-passes-in-the-harshest-of-conditions-with-nothing-to-show-for-it-but-a-useless-belt-buckle-and-a-quiet-yet-forever-irreplaceable-feeling-of-accomplishment.

Ok, now that I've got THAT off my chest, let me move on to something more timely. I failed to get into the this year's Angeles Crest 100 miler. I waited too long to apply, and the race filled up. Just like that. I tried to plead my case to the race director. But he slapped me down before I could even begin to get my hopes up.

His reply:

“...i cannot take anymore runners

last year i filled in February
this year in December
so maybe a good idea (if u want to run the race) to enter little bit earlier”

My reply:

Can I get on the waiting list?

His reply:

“i dont keep a waiting list
just one more thing to deal with

thats it for 2012 race
if u entered coupla weeks earlier!!”

Ok, message delivered. I’m not one to brood over little mishaps, so I turned my attention to what other (100 mile) options might be out there. Several ideas popped into my head. One that has been lurking for a while is UTMB in France. I don't know much about it but the little I do know is that it is the ultimate race in Europe, if not the world. And guess what? The deadline for applications is today! My application? Sent.

But UTMB is a lottery, and chances are I won’t get in. Other options? Well, yes. Wasatch 100. Deadline for application is today. My application? Sent.

So here is my only concern, other than I’m still not in either race, UTMB has 31,000 feet of elevation gain. Wasatch 28,300 feet.

I guess the only thing left to do is wait with hope and fear.

I love this sport. 

Happy New Year Ultra Runners!

I’m not usually one to look back, but this time of year brings out the nostalgia in me. Why not? I don’t have any new year’s resolutions neatly typed up. In fact I don’t have any new year’s resolutions period. I don’t even have a goal for 2012! Oh my!

More to come on that topic. In the mean time I’m happy to be putting my feet up and celebrating the end of 2011 tonight with my wife, sans kids. This last year was particularly gratifying to me because I think I finally learned how to listen to my body and better understand its peculiar ways. Yes, its taken me 48 years to do this, but progress is all I’m looking for. Relentless forward progress.

And the simple things. They matter the most. It really is true. This year I discovered this on my way through the Southern California Ultra Grand Prix. Racing every 3 weeks when I could barely walk the week before. It made me see why the journey is better than the destination. The journey brings a cup of coffee before a race. A laugh with friend on a long climb. The dancing glimmer of headlamps strewn across a canyon below. What does the destination bring? Pain! Self doubt. Can I do this again in three weeks? Ouch. This stuff hurts! 

Keep the faith ultra runners!

And have a happy, happy, new year! 

The Longest Night

Good news northern hemisphere runners! We have, as of today, finally reached the shortest day of the year (and the longest night!). The northern hemisphere is at its most extreme angle -23.5 degrees - away from the sun. Now each day will be a little longer than the last, for a few months anyway.  Don't forget your flashlight for after work runs. I've been running under the stars lately, and enjoying switching between Radiohead's music and the audio book the Shining by Steven King on my Iphone. If I can survive this morose combo I'm sure to have nothing but sunshine to look forward to.

As for you southern hemisphere runners, enjoy the summer while you can...it will soon be ours again!